KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I'm at your front door bursting with energy.

"Look at this," I say excitedly showing you a big glass bottle with a red liquid inside. "I bought this today. It's a special drink that helps to boost your brain power."

"Think of it," I continue. "My memory will improve. I'll be able to read faster. I can get a better job. I can make more money. The possibilities are endless."

You take the bottle from my hand and look at the back of it. You begin to read the very small print on the label.

"Ah, Wendy," you say gently, "this drink is made from water, lemon juice, and red food coloring. I don't think it's going to help much."

You look back at me and see the delight disappear from my eyes. A part of you wants to chuckle because, in a sense, you find my belief in a brain power drink kind of amusing.

On the other hand, you can relate to how I'm feeling. You know what it's like when the truth is exposed and you feel so uncomfortable as truth cuts it's way through illusion.

And if there is ever a time when you have to face extreme honesty, it's when you choose the path of forgiveness.

DO YOU WANT TO FORGIVE? 

After someone has wronged you or wounded you, forgiving isn't the easiest process to go through. Sometimes you may hurt so deeply that forgiveness seems out of the question. I'll be honest, I had a hard time researching and writing this because a part of me doesn't want anything to do with forgiveness.

Forgiveness can be difficult because you may feel you are justified to feel hate and anger.

Look at the situation honestly. Your anger isn't about what someone else has done. Your anger is about what you cannot forgive yourself for.

A friend asks you if they can borrow some money. They promise to pay it back. Your inner voice says "Don't do it". You do anyway. You don't see the money again. You're angry because you never followed your gut instinct. Chances are that may bother you more than anything. 

Anger is a separate thing from hate. When you're angry, forgive yourself. When you're raging with hate, forgive the other person.

Trust is like an egg; it's solid but it's also fragile. Trust is probably the most significant thing you long for in all of your relationships. It's a requirement. When it is shattered, you feel a deep pain because what you wanted most has been destroyed.

Forgiveness is the way you can ease the pain. Forgiveness is a process that happens in your mind and in your heart. It's something good you can give yourself to free you from resentment, abuse, powerlessness, and hate.

It's been said that when you close a door another will open. If choose not to forgive, it's like grasping onto the doorknob and not letting go. You're desperate to hold the door open. 

You get your wish. The door stays open with the force of your energy, and newness isn't given a chance to come into your life.

BEGIN TO FORGIVE 

There is no need to rush. Forgive when you are ready to heal.

Don't wait for the person who hurt you to say they're sorry. Begin the process on your own for yourself.

Forgiveness takes place in three stages...

1. REALIZE THAT THE PERSON WHO HURT YOU IS HUMAN -When it comes right down to it forgiveness is the realization that a mistake was made. Humans make mistakes. Humans are flawed. WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF GOOD AND BAD. Be open to seeing this person's imperfections in the same gentle, caring way you are aware of your own.

2. GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO GET EVEN -Vengeance doesn't bring resolution. Vengeance is like eating salted peanuts; the more you have the more you want, and no matter how much you have, your hunger is never truly satisfied. But having said that, don't confuse vengeance with justice. If someone has done something legally wrong, they should be punished in those realms. But do you really want to be the one to make someone else suffer? Would seeing someone else in pain make you happy?

3. TRANSFORM YOUR FEELINGS -Taking a different look at the person who hurt you, and taking a different approach to the situation will give you a new perspective. It'll be easier to let go of the hate if you adjust your outlook. One day you'll get to a point where you can wish good things for him/her.

Forgiving doesn't mean you instantly become a doormat. 

-You don't have to let that person back into your life 

-You don't have to tolerate wrongdoings 

-You don't have to find excuses for anyone 

-You don't have to give up your right to justice 

-You don't have to invite hurt and pain into your life again

FORGIVENESS TAKES PATIENCE 

-Remember the good parts within the bad memories 

-Remember the past with truth 

-Remember with a new respect for yourself 

-Remember with sadness as though you were waving goodbye 

-Remember without a veil of illusion 

Love yourself as I love you and the strength from love will guide you out of your pain and into the light.

FINAL THOUGHTS 

Nada, a MIND MAGIC subscriber, sent me this...

Wendy: 

I recently came across this quote, attributed to Nelson Mandela. I've found it inspiring and encouraging and something that's motivated me towards 'allowing' myself to shine instead of holding myself back. 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "who am I to be brilliant?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Until next time...be well

Forever always, 

Wendy